i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I'm always down for nudity.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
