so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
We have started to decorate penises.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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