Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
