OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
