Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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