that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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