I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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