just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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