Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize