im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
