oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
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