So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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