He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
