a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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