So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
