I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
