Having a random hookup so left but love u
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
