U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
