So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
