Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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