yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
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