so that wasnt chicken after all
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
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