I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
