I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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