i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
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