I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Randomize
