From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize