The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
