Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
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