I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize