I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
