youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
