Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
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