can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
