she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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