So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize