Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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