Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
