Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
