so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
