ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
