I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
