AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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