oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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