Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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