Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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