My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
