Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
