I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I just found a bag of teeth...
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
