I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
