I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
