if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
