My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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