Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
