Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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