Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Randomize
