I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Randomize