Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
And then my night got REAL pukey
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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