I'll bet she douches with gravy.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I lost the right to judge tonight
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
