You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
