apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
